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| Look out! Soon to come, a huge entry about my Journey so far! Ps. Germany...AMAZING! | | |
| Long Way Around
Dixie Chicks
My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live
But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel
I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow
By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to
No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now
But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around
Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself
But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
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Your Political Profile:
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Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
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| Do you ever have those times in your life when all you want to do is yell constant profanities? When you feel your blood surging so hot in your veins that your skin prickles with fire? Or when the pressure in your head becomes so great that your cheeks ache?
Yeah, me neither.
Ha.
I'm so hot under the collar right now that all I want to do is beat the living shit out of anything! I hate this anger. I'm not an angry person usually, I don't know how to deal with all this... hatefulness. I need a rest, I need to get out.
3 days until I'm outta here. I wish it would only come sooner.
Sometimes I fear that my love of travel is an excuse to get away from living a life. Never having to place roots seems pretty tempting.
Drifting! | | |
| I leave on Saturday for Illsheim, Germany where I will spend ten weeks surrounded by army children. I can't wait!
I'm scared, nervous, exhilarated, curious, excited and some other good adjectives all rolled up into one right now. There are so many firsts coming up in my life. First overseas flight, first time to Europe, first time at a summer camp, first time I'll be so far from home that I can't drive to see my Mommy and Daddy, and so many more.
I can't even begin to tell you how stressed out I am right now. I can just feel the tension building in my neck when I think about it. I've been on edge, especially today. I've been snapping at everyone, and I know that isn't the best game plan, leaving with everyone pissed off at me. I can't help it, I'm scared, it's my defense mechanism for that stress, I suppose. I've tried to calm down, it's just so hard when you feel like a brick is sitting on your chest.
I need to keep reminding myself that things are going to be ok, and I will be fine in a completely new place with a totally different language that I don't know. And a whole new set of customs and culture that I know nothing about. Thinking like this is a new experience for me, I'm usually one to be excited about embracing a new and different culture and encouraging others to do the same as me. However, when I have "emersed" myself in a world of another, it's still been in the states. Now it's a new continent! Even the Americans I will be in contact with are living in a different culture, a military lifestyle.
And then there is the impact that I'm going to have on these military children. I love kids, I just got home from spending a few days with my sister, her friend Heather and Heather's three boys, ages 4, 7, and 10. I was really glad I went, having a glimpse of what I'm getting myself into these coming months, I feel, has helped me. These kids were a handful, but being in such a busy place, like Gatlinburg, I was able to practice my kid watching skills and the skills that we learned in Camp training.
I should briefly explain the program I'm working with this summer. It's called Camp Adventure. It's a program that gives college aged students a chance of a lifetime. We work at different summer camps all over the world at different military bases, embassies, and recreational centers. Over the course of our camp stays we spend 5 days a week with military and other children taking them swimming, on field trips and programming the entire week at camp so together we can "Create magic moments that last a life time." I feel really strong about this because in a time of war, a war that is wrong and I totally disagree with when we have such problems at home... I digress, these children need an escape where they don't have to think about their mom and dad in Iraq fighting and whether or not they will be coming home in a few weeks. They are there to have fun, and so are we. Not to mention outside of work we are in an environment that is different than our own, and we have the weekends to ourselves to travel. I plan on traveling the rest of Europe while I'm not at camp.
As these last few days are dwindling away, I realize that I'm not a kid any more. THAT'S SAD. That's the worst part of this whole experience. I was at life guard training the other day and I was the second oldest person there. All of the people there were still in high school, most unable to drive still. They looked at me like I was older, granted I am, but... One of the girls was talking about how excited she was for college, not knowing that I'm entering into my Junior year, and I was offering some friendly advice and her eyes got wide and she said, wow, how old are you. 20 was my reply, and she said wow, you're so old! That was something I wasn't expecting. I know I'm not old, but it just makes me realize I'm not in high school any more. I have friends that are getting married, and already have children of their own!
Another funny instance of my growing up was the other day I went on a walk with my sister and Erica and we saw something hazy crossing the entirety of the road. We got closer and we saw that someone had wrapped heavy duty saran wrap from one road sing to the next. We thought it was funny sure, but instead of leaving it there, my risk management kicked in and we went to a police man, who was at a house down the road with some of his buddies, and told him and he took it down. You know your growing up and becoming mature when you are concerned with others safety and you fully understand the words 'risk management.'
Working with these kids is going to help transport me back to the good days. The days of imagination and creativity. The days when I looked at a couple of grey painted boxes and saw a castle, not just trash. And when a wash cloth became a Barbie bed. A day where some one mentions a clear liquid in a bottle and my mind travels to soda, not liquor. When fart face was a good insult and cursing consisted of saying the "a word" or "b word." Working with these children I'm encouraged to act insanely silly and play along. I can't wait!
I'm going to miss my family and friends. I have to go back to the first day of college where everyone is new and different and you have to make new friends all over again. I don't really have any problem making friends, but it's nerve wracking! Making sure you make the right ones, fitting in with out compromising who you are, making sure you know who you are, not making an ass out of yourself: this is the scariest part! Then there is all that you are missing back home! I'm missing my very good friend Erica's wedding, and she's moving over 8 hours away from me to New York State! It will be a very, very long time until I see her again. That makes me want to cry when I think about it. Not to mention not being able to call home and talk to my parents when ever something exciting or new happens, which will prolly happen about every 5 minutes. And the time difference is going to make it a bit difficult.
I need to focus on the good. I'm going to be making a difference in the lives of many children, I'll be in Europe, and life is all about new experiences. I'm incredibly excited, but because it's so close to actually happening, after soooo many months of planing it's so close, my nerves are starting to get the best of me. It will be fine, I will be fine. I know it will be the experience of a lifetime. | | |
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